There appears to be some confusion here...

Mrs. Unintentional Porn Wife #1 occasionally drags my sorry arse to the mall. I don't like malls and never have. When I was a teenager I didn't like them because I was awkward (ok, a total effing geek), and I don't like them now that I'm in my 30's because I'm "that guy". I'm getting a little close to 40 to be attractive to MILFs, I've long since become creepy to women under the age of 22, and your average 28 year old woman thinks married guys approaching 40 have far more money than I have. Pretty much everyone thinks I'm lame.

Which gives me one solution: head to Brookstone or the now-departed Sharper Image and check out the useless overpriced junk that will be in tomorrow's bargan bin. One of those items? the $299 (was $599 - guess this isn't that necessary in a recession when a lap dance is $20) iGallop. It is an exercise device. Seriously. Apparently some doctor (or other dirty-minded individual) decided that riding horses was a great abdominal exercise. And since horses are expensive to feed and they crap a ton, what better way to give the masses a way to experience the same exercise than a device that mimics the motion of a horse - of course! Pretty much just a lightweight home mechanical bull for wimpy soccer moms that couldn't possibly stay on a mechanical bull even if it was controlled by John Travolta; but heck, the results are the same. Unfortunately, a white t-shirt and bucket of cold water isn't included, but the price is right!



There are far too many videos of this device out there (which only indicates I'm not alone), but here is my favorite. The fact I like this video only serves to reinforce the idea that I am a creepy middle aged guy. Yep.

Huh. Someone thought this was innocent?

"Even with all the workouts that I had done in the past, I had never gotten the results that I got with the Flirty Girl Fitness program. I mean 23 inches - that's huge!" Vanessa M.

Bawahhahahahahaha!

The other night I woke up around 2:00am unable to sleep. Not wanting to disturb Mrs. Unintentional Porn Wife #1 I got out of bed and plopped myself on the couch to watch some Comedy Central.

Betweeen commercials for Girls Gone Wild and Hydrolux was one for the Flirty Girl Fitness DVD pack. Website even has the "As seen on TV" logo. Order the deluxe pack now and get a free stripper pole for your living room. I kid you not. This website could keep you busy for days, including the statement "If you really want to spice up your results" in a manner that has nothing to do with increasing the number of $1 bills you bring home at the end of the night.

Kit Includes:• Flirty Girl Signature Fitness Pole • 7 Flirty Girl DVDs: Booty Beat, Chair Fit, Chair Dance, Just Teasing, Abs & Booty, Beginner Pole, & Pole Fit all stored in 2 keepsake boxes. • Plus the full color Flirty Fit & Fabulous booklet, and a pink feather boa so you can unleash your inner diva!

Yes, but is it science?

We all see it, some of us say "ouch" as they run past: a woman jogging that really, really needs to see herself in a mirror. You'd think the US Womans Soccer Team ten years ago would have made women realize that a sports bra is a good thing. But too many haven't got the message.

But even more so, how do women trying to do something about it figure out which of the apparently 33 possible sports bras is right for her? How about full motion video of a woman wearing each of those 33 models of sports bras jogging on a treadill?

I don't think the women running the HerRoom store had this blog in mind when they created those videos. Thanks go to Mrs. Unintentional Porn Wife #1 for finding this link.