Parts and Tools (Naughty!)

This actually comes from another I place write. Guess I been on the lookout for unintentional porn longer than I thought. Back in 2006, I was helping proof a machine parts catalog. The excrutiating dullness of the work made my mind wander to almost anything. After the puns on machine parts were exhausted and I'd listened to the same old time radio episodes three times each, I found amusement in the actual work I was supposed to be doing. It's all Beavis & Butthead, but hey, proofing five hundred pages of screws, nuts and bolts shifted my mind that way.

The first to catch my eye were the ACME Threaded Rod Lubricants. Sounds porno, especially as it's listed next to the Threaded Studs and Acrylic Extruded Balls. These parts are not the names of schlong-endowed male porn stars (although I don't think Threaded Rod is currently taken), these are industrial parts that keep our American machines running. After checking the spelling of Shaft Adapters (it's not Adaptors), I got to thinking that any Threaded Stud certainly wouldn't need any Shaft adaptation.

Next up was the section with Nipple Wrenches. These are actual industrial tools. The final winner of the day were the Prick Punches. My mind is doomed to filth, but it has helped get me through the day more than once. This was probably the only secret perk that proofreading has. Unless one is proofing for Playboy, I suppose, but that wouldn't carry the humor of Extruded Balls.