This Is Not Porn; It's Art

Err, really?



That's Rembrandt's painting of Greek mythology; Andromeda chained to the rock as a sacrifice for the Kraken. The stamps of legitimacy for this are that it's by a recognized Renaissance artist and it's depicting a scene from classic mythology.

Okay, that's fine. It's also a painting of a chained up naked lady. Today, there are plenty of websites labeled "pornographic" that would show the same image, but not the same context, obviously. So let's see some more examples.



Okay, that's the extremely well-known sculpture of David by the classical artist Michelangleo. It's also a giant, naked man.

So we've established the artistic legitimacy attached to this sculpture, and for many, additional legitimacy would come from the statue depicting the biblical figure of David before he does combat with Goliath. Yet, this approximately 17 foot tall statue and it's rather oversized proportions might raise some questions from those unfamiliar with the statue's contexts and established legitimacies. After all, what is the point of a giant statue of a nude man? Art, yes, but what else?

Finally, consider this:



That's a statue from Daniel Edwards acting as champion for the pro-life movement. If you don't believe me on the statue's application, here's an article. This is a naked Britney Spears giving birth to her first son on a bear skin rug. More specifically, a naked Britney Spears on all fours in a rather sexualized position. Yes, she's giving birth, so that would leave sex out at that particular moment, but it certainly isn't the most conducive postion for giving birth. Her back and belly would be in enough discomfort without the unnecessary distortions that this statue would have her do.

But I'm not here to argue the best birthing positions, nor am I here to argue that these depictions are pornographic or not. I am curious as to the motivations behind these artworks. What was going through Rembrandt's mind as he painted Andromeda? Michelangelo clearly took great time and care to craft every part of his David statue, but did his thoughts range through many dynamics as he created different parts of David's body? Finally, what was REALLY going through Mr. Edwards mind as he created his sculpture of a recognized American sex symbol?

Are these pieces intended to be "porn" or do they become that way from the reactions they provoke? I'm thinking that many things that are considered art could also be constitued as "porn" from certain standpoints. "Porn" has its obvious negative connotation. "Art" has an altogether different and ambiguous connotation. Do these definitions apply to the motives behind the artists, the reactions to the pieces, or a combination? Just something to chew on beside the champagne or x-rated video people might enjoy this fine New Years Eve. Cheers!

Debbie Does Dance Studios

I believe that there's always a subtext to dancing. There's a form of intimacy at stake whether it's just jumping around at a club or a specific routine with a partner in formal dance. Ideally, dancing occurs with people of a certain comfort level, one that allows bodies to be in close proximity. This intimacy can be problematic when searching for partners when one is single and/or teenaged. For my school dances, this intimacy was usually denied or feared from potential partners. This is why I spent most school dances getting close to the gymnasium wall. Even a small potential for greater intimacy was one reason my alma mater (which will remain nameless) did not allow dancing on campus. This actually saved me from having to get familiar with other gym walls, but something that wasn't policed was dance classes. These remove the physical barriers to dancing because partners are assigned and you have to get closer to learn together. Since it's "education," the taboos are gone. Leaving aside the physical contact as well as the dance-appropriate outfits that can create stimulating situations, consider the stretching. I assume there's no need to explain the unintentional stimulations of stretches.

But then there's the Simply Circus studio: not only is stretching recorded and explained, it's done so in the photographic style of late 70's porno. Also mind-boggling is this dance studio's (lack of) dress code. Still, it seems to put a lot of effort into the teaching of stretch. There's the Front Bend Warm-Up Exercise, a same exercise if you're incredibly limber, there's warming up the legs, the always favored arching of the back (the final picture especially), and of course the splits, a long time favorite. This dance studio sure looks like it was in full swing during some of my more awkward days. I sure see a few mid-80's dance outfits in those pictures. Wish I'd been learning stretching at this studio instead of gym wall patterns during those days.

Chicks With Guitars, Post II

A follow up for the little more hardcore crowd. Again, not necessiarily "unintentional porn" but a good excuse for a post, considering it is a picture of a woman holding a long object. And closing her eyes.

Lisa Marx, formerly lead guitarist of Kittie.

Politicians...gotta love 'em

I nearly titled this post "Republicans, gotta love 'em" but then I recalled a certain Democratic president that forever changed how we all view cigars. But while Clinton took his Monte Cristo to a consenting adult woman, Sen. Saxby Chambliss (R-GA) just can't keep his paws off his 11-year old granddaugher in this Thanksgiving advertisement. Unintentional? Check. Very creepy? Oh yeah.

The "money shot" is at the end - just after the young girl says, "Vote for my BIG daddy".

A Wii Unexpected

Nintendo did nice work in cross-marketing their game console to women with the Wii Fit. Notice how the first family member to be tested for the Wii Fit is Mom? Did anyone also notice the ads for the Wii Fit on buses and billboards featuring an attractive girl in her modest yoga gear, looking vibrant and fit? Still, something's amiss upon further investigation and application of this device. Click "Next" on the introduction page within the Wii Fit link above, and there's an eerily violating "body scan" while one's balance is being measured. Within the demo video, the same odd "Mom" character appears as a spokesmodel and tries out the Wii with her family (how nice of the Wii, by the way, to let you know if you're underweight, normal, overweight, or even OBESE during your body scan!). Still, the intentions behind the Fit are entirely fitness-oriented, right? A way to marry the gaming world with the fitness world; that is, until we meet this fellow and his girlfriend. Of course someone had to video his girlfriend doing Wii exercises in her underwear, earning two million hits on YouTube, also known as the Multibillion Dollar Exhibitionist (intentional or unintentional) Network. This post falls into the halfway unintentional as the star of video is not aware of what she's creating, yet the creator of the video is as frat-boy intentional as can be. While posting this video probably falls under gross violation of privacy (are these two still dating, and is she really "enjoying her fame," really?), the boyfriend certainly knew an unintentional porn moment when he saw it. I'm curious as to the honest reaction the girlfriend had in discovering that this moment was out for all the world to see. Seems a wee convenient that she initially "screamed down the phone" (thank you British press) during the initial discovery but now is totally fine with it. A Wii conspiracy? Time will tell. In the meantime, enjoy that "wiggling bottom" and other British Bosom Buddies.